Wonderful, someone has taken the eager, trusting Interlull and brought it for a walk in the woods. Then they've thrown a stick and said 'Go on boy, fetch', and as he bounds across the leaves, tongue hanging out with the sheer joy of going to fetch a stick, they've nipped back into their car and driven off.

We won't see Interlull again till February, which is a good thing. We have a game against Everton tomorrow and it's vital we get back into the swing of things. Nothing less than three points required but there are some injury issues.

We'll be without Gallas, Sagna and Bendtner for tomorrow and for the Champions League trip to Turkey in midweek. With Johann Djourou recovering from concussion we'll probably see Eboue at right back for Sagna and Sylvester make his debut alongside Toure in the centre of defence.

Cesc has broken his nose but is likely to play while Robin van Persie faces a fitness test over a muscular problem. And amazingly Abou Diaby is fit again. Whether he's fit enough to start remains to be seen but the return of any central midfielder to the squad can't be a bad thing. Hopefully he can stay fit and take his chance if he's given it.

On the official site Cesc has clarified his comments from yesterday saying he's 100% behind the boss and his young team mates. He says:

Arsène has built an unbelievable squad here. We have great spirit and I have complete trust in the manager’s policy. Yes we do have a lot of young players, but they have all shown they can handle it at the top level in the Premier League and Champions League.

It’s hard to imagine I’m one of the oldest players at the Club now but it will be a privilege to help guide some of these youngsters through. We’re the envy of every other club and it’s so exciting to be a part of that.

As I said yesterday I didn't think he was being critical, merely stating the facts. And that he's come out so quickly to ensure there's no negative spin put on what he said is a measure of his character. Cesc for captain? Fuck that, Cesc for Master of the Universe. That's what I say.

Craig Bellamy bigs up Aaron Ramsey. Which is a bit like ...erm... being bigged up by ... er ... a thick necked cunt with legs of balsa wood. You see.

In a bid to get himself fit I'm told Tomas Rosicky is now practicing yoga (cheers, Mart). Well, it can't hurt, can it?

Not much else going on so it's Arsecast time. In this week's show I chat to Goodplaya about Everton and other stuff, Arsene Wenger Hawkins is back, the Man in the Bar pops up somewhere, Amaury Bischoff PI receives an unwelcome visitor and there's the usual waffle.

There were some people who had problems last week with it on iTunes so please make sure you're subscribed to the correct one, which you can do by clicking here. Or if you want to subscribe directly to the feed URL you can do so too. To download this week's arsecast directly - click here (12mb MP3) or you can listen directly below without leaving this very page.

As well as that there's a dedicated Arsecast hotline available all season long should you desire to make a comment, get something off your chest, share a song a chant or hilarious anecdote. Feel free to call it any time during the week, it'll go to voicemail and you can leave your message. The number from inside the UK is 020 3286 6360 or from outside the UK it's +44 20 3286 6360.

Right then, have a good Friday and get yourself prepared for the return of football tomorrow. Can. Not. Wait.

Right, so the internationals are over and that's the end of the Interlulls until February of next year. This, as you will have gathered, is a good thing.

We can start looking forward, not backward, upward not forward, and always twirling, twirling, twirling towards Arsenal. With the players due back at the club to asses their fitness and so on it's unlikely we'll get any team news until later on or tomorrow. I haven't found any reports of new injuries but the situations re: G*llas and Sagna need to be resolved. Fingers crossed there are no other casualties.

Now, there are very many Arsenal fans who have bemoaned the state of our midfield this season. I am one. You are another. And that bloke over there is another. But it's all fine and dandy me giving out because nobody listens to me, and with good reason. However, when the best player in the team has something to say about it then people should listen. And by people I mean Arsene Wenger. Cesc says:

Our squad is a bit short on numbers and we are very young. Behind me there is Denilson, who is 20, or Alex Song who is 21. Theo Walcott is 19 and Samir Nasri 21.

It's hard to imagine a midfield where I am the oldest member. We find it very hard to win matches, as we do not possess enough experience.

That last line in particular is a killer. You hardly need reminding of the experience we let go last season. But I'm gonna do it anyway! Gilberto - gone, not replaced. Diarra - gone, not replaced. Flamini - gone, not replaced. And it's obviously affecting Cesc's game, something he alludes to himself:

I scored 13 goals last season but then I had plenty of allies. Tomas Rosicky was around, Mathieu Flamini covered every blade of grass and Alexander Hleb was like a brother to me out there. Now none of those players are in the side and I feel like a rare being. We are more defensive-minded and sturdy as a team but we don't play so much skilful stuff.

Well, Rosicky is still around, he's just in a wheelchair. And while I appreciate Cesc and Hleb were good mates I think in Nasri we've replaced him with a more efficient player. But the big gap in the squad is obviously in the centre of the park and a player with Flamini's workrate and drive is what we miss most, in my opinion.

Let's face it, Cesc isn't saying anything that we haven't been saying. And he's not being critical of the young players, just stating the facts. I think we're expecting far too much from Denilson and Song who have done all right but just all right. They've done as well as two players with such limited experience can be expected to do but the bottom line is that we're weak in central midfield.

It would also be true to say that most of our woes this season have come from players who have far more experience and while that is true having a better midfield makes it easier for you to recover from the mistakes at the back that have cost us goals. Perhaps the return of Diaby might prove to be a fillup for the team but then counting on Diaby to stay fit is like expecting Phil Collins not be a bald irritating cunt.

Anyway, I'm not here to flog the dead horse. The horse is long dead and I'm not the only one that has been flogging it. It was long dead before Cesc got his flog out and gave it a good flogging but hopefully it will make the manager do something about it in January. Otherwise we might as well all start flogging each other because it'll be less painful.

Reports in Spain say Pep Guardiola is willing to let Yaya Toure leave Barcelona. Could he be the answer? Yes, he could, if the question is 'Who is the midfielder we have been linked with the most without ever signing just because his brother plays for us?'.

Manuel Almuni is a confusing man. He says the chances for young players at Arsenal are 'less and less' (¿ que?) but says Carlos Vela is a very charming fighter. El Matador de Cancún. El Goleador. La Chupacabra de futbol. Just some of the nicknames we could use for young Carlos. But we won't. Why would we when Carlos Candle is top of the pile?

So there you go. Not much else to tell you about really. As I said there'll be team news ahead of the Everton game tomorrow and an Arsecast so tune in then.

Have a good Thursday.

Wednesday, one day closer to real football again when we can get back into the swing of realising just how terrible we are again! I simply can't wait.

Robin van Persie will be in action for the Dutch of Holland tonight and he seems to have recovered very quickly from a hamstring strain. Either that or he's saying he's fine when he isn't. But he insists he's learned from his mistakes in the past when he said he was fine when he wasn't. He says:

I have been injured a lot lately but whatever the outside world says is not important to me. I just want to be fit and play as many games as I can. The entire pre-season went well at Arsenal and in the league too.

Picking up a hamstring injury can happen to any player at the moment.

Yes, yes it can. I'm running a book on him picking up an injury in tonight's game. 2-1 thigh strain, evens calf strain, 4-5 knee ligament damage, and Ebola at 8-1 is proving a popular bet.

Another one of our lads who keeps the doctors busy is Tomas Rosicky. We know his hamstring is a bit fucked but recent reports said he had been hospitalised with headaches after receiving injections to speed his recovery. His agent insists that is not true and says:

Everything is going according to the plan. Tomas' first comeback was rash, now we are treating the situation more carefully. The team of specialists that cares for Tomas, has been enlarged by another specialist which means the player will be cared for at the best level.

I'm not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing. It might be a case of 'Hmmm, John. Any chance you could come over and have a look at this?'. 'What is it Dr Nick?'. 'I just do not have a clue'.

Still, two heads are better than one. Unless you're a mutant baby in which case it will mean certain death.

Alisher Usmanov was reportedly thinking about selling his stake in Arsenal but the fat, sweaty cunthound insists this is not true. In fact, he's rather taken with us, saying:

When a man loves a woman he can't conceivably sell that love. I'm in love with Arsenal. I have no intention of selling

What a horrible bastard. Love, as one fine singer in the 80s said, is contagious. But so are genital warts. And love can be a one-sided thing. Like the man who loves a woman but the woman doesn't love the man but the man stalks the woman, pesters her with phone calls and filthy messages until the woman is forced to take out a restraining order because the man is a disgusting creep.

That's the kind of love that's going on here. Usmanov is showing up unannounced at our door, sending flowers to our work and making sure everyone sees and sending cards saying 'We're meant to be together forever. And if I can't have you, nobody else can'.

I would urge all Arsenal fans to start carrying mace and if you see Usmanov then spray it right in his eyes. It's the only way he'll learn. The flabby, repellent, Man United supporting flangebasher.

Aaron Ramsey had a rather good game for Wales U21s last night. He scored an absolute belter with his left foot and made another goal. You can check out highlights here but I suggest skipping over the first little bit as it shows Tom Crapplestone scoring a shit free kick. Get Ramsey in the team, I say.

Some youngster called Jason Banton has left the club to join Blackburn. I read somewhere that he also left us as an even younger kid to join Sp*rs before coming back. The kid is obviously deranged, like a reverse Bentley.

Right, well that's about that. I'm off to stock up on mace, it's about the only thing that hasn't gone up in the budget here.

Till tomorrow.

There's an old saying in the Scottish highlands. It goes:

Och bonny lad,
nae blog tae be blogged
when there's nae thing tae blog aboot

It might be not be that old, in fairness. And it might not actually be a saying at all. In fact it might all be a figment of my imagination. Just like entire right hand side of Alex Song's body.

As you'll have gathered there's not a great deal going on. Yesterday's Mirror linked us with Peter Varney, an exciting young centre-half who can head the ball. Actually, he's Charlton's ex-chief executive and he's apparently on our list for the vacant position at the Arsenal. That's the vacant chief exec position and not the centre-half one.

It seems to have been a long process in finding somebody. There was the Celtic guy who turned it down, a Vodafone bloke, whatsherface from Birmingham and weatherman Michael Fish. Yet still we're no closer to making the announcement.

I bet we'll announce it today, just to make me look like a right chump. Is the fact that Aaron Ramsey is going to make his full Wales debut in November interesting to anyone? Maybe it'll be interesting in November.

They should have the second round of internationals on a Tuesday, you know. That'd give them more time to get back to their clubs for treatment to their injuries. On the plus side our winter league starts tonight. First match of the astro season kicks off at 9pm. I swear, Division 10 won't know what's hit them. I am looking forward to it although I fear my pre-season preparations haven't been quite as good as they might have been.

You know the way in beer all the sugar turns to alcohol to give it that delicious booze taste? Well, I'm hoping all the alcohol turns into little energy cubes or something. If that happens then we're all set, not a worry in the world. Otherwise ... well .... hmmmm ....

Right, there really is only so far I can stretch this nothing. I shall be off to await today's budget in Ireland in which the government will screw us for as much money as they can. Time to fill up the petrol tank, buy up booze at pre-budget prices, and sharpen my sticking stick for the next time a politician calls to my door. What a pack of cunts.

Till tomorrow.

Another week, another day closer to the end of this interminable Interlull.

With Everton coming up at the weekend we may find ourselves short at the back (What, even shorter than we are already? Haha - ed).

We know Capi Golightly is out of the French squad with a thigh strain and now there are injury worries over Johann Djourou who seems unlikely to play for Switzerland in midweek. This will leave us with just Toure and Sylvester for the centre-half position, although Alex Song can play there too. Still, a change is as good as a rest, or something, but Djourou, even at his tender age, does appear to be a bit injury prone, doesn't he?

As well as that it seems Bacary Sagna is out of France's game this week (thanks, Ollie). No idea how serious the problem is but it'd be just typical if it was discovered one of his legs was about to fall off. 

Robin van Persie's hamstring strain must have been quite mild indeed as he's being considered for Holland's game against Norway.

And Theo Walcott has called for England fans to be patient after his spectactular failure against Kazakhstan. After scoring a hat-trick against Croatia he managed a paltry no goals against Borat FC. Talk about a flash in the pan. Seriously, we should sell him. To Colchester. That's how low his stock has fallen.

At least he's not Ashley Cole though. Which is good. I remember meeting a man who was a Sp*rs fan who loved Phil Collins and every day he chewed chewing gum with his mouth open and his breath stank of garlic and Juicy Fruit and he was arrested for raping puppies and he was one of those people who would sit on a bus and play music from his mobile phone without using any headphones so all you got was this tinny racket and he always had crusted snot around his nose and he thought Tom Hanks was a great actor and Jeffrey Archer was a great writer and every time he'd talk bits of his garlic Juicy Fruit spit would come out and hit you in the eye and I remember thinking 'Well, at least he's not Ashley Cole'.

And that's really about all there is in terms of Arsenal news. Not much I know. But I am merely the chef, if the ingredients aren't up to scratch there's not a lot I can do about it. Today's ingredients have been soggy lettuce, a gone off strip of quick-fry beef and a potato with blight (which could cause me to emigrate at any moment). Speaking of moving I had a mad dream last night that I had moved back into my old apartment in Barcelona. Unfortunately I hadn't told the landlord and was worried that after moving all the stuff in he wouldn't rent the place to me.

Fortunately one of the moving men turned out to be a woman who was part of the Barcelona royal family (beats me - apparently she was working as a removal man just to prove to them she could make her way in the world) who took kindly to my offer of beer and promised to have her father, the king, sort things out with the landlord. Then I was riding down some steps on a quad bike and I nearly ran over a kid. Weird.

For those of you who have issues with this week's Arsecast on iTunes please make sure you're using the new and correct iTunes URL which is this one. There's also a bit of an issue with the RSS file which I'll try and get sorted later today, but in the meantime you can just download directly from Friday's post.

Right, hopefully there'll be more to talk about tomorrow. In the meantime you can amuse yourself in the warm brownosity of today's Arses

Morning all, it's Friday. Hurrah for Fridays.

After yesterday's troubles you thought things couldn't get any worse for William Gallas, well, you were wrong. He's pulled out of the French squad with a thigh injury and apparently this has added to Arsene Wenger's woes.

It strikes me it might be quite convenient for the manager. He can change things around in his defence without having to drop his captain, which is always a difficult thing to do. That's providing the injury keeps him out of our games and not just the French ones, of course. If that is the case it'll be interesting to see who comes in. Will he bring in Djourou who will add height and pace to the centre of the defence or will he play it safe and bring in Sylvester to add some funk?

I know who I'd play and it wouldn't be the fishfaced disco queen but we all know how conservative Arsene at times. Nevertheless, it's an indication of how poor Gallas has been that nobody is bemoaning the injury in the same way we would if it were an important player like Cesc, for example.

Meanwhile Robert Pires has urged the French Football Federation to bring in Arsene Wenger to replace Raymond Domenech. There's no love lost between the two, Pires was not selected by Domenech because he was the wrong star sign (no, really) and, of course, Domenech is a poxy cunt who should be sodomised by an angry bear every day of his life. It's a good bit of a rant by Le Bob but I don't see Wenger in international management just yet.

You know the Interlull is well and truly upon us when you see stories like 'YouTube star linked with Gunners'. Of course my first thought was that we were going to sign the Chocolate Rain kid to add some depth to the midfield but apparently it's just some cunt who scored a good goal. The story was nearly interesting for a few seconds when I read the name of the team he scored against as Titburger but on second reading it wasn't.

If we could sign any YouTube star who would it be? If it were up to me I'd sign the motorbike that blew up Anthea Turner. That's the kind of attitude we're missing at the moment. We need to be more explodey, there's no doubt about it.

Lukasz Fabianski says he's happy enough on the Arsenal bench at the moment but insists he's learning and getting better all the time. He also talks about Tomas Rosicky (as Poland play the Czechs on Saturday), saying:

I hoped we would meet each other at international level this weekend, but that is not going to happen. I am very sorry for him. He loves football and Arsenal have missed him.

Poor old Tomas. But good old Lukasz. Well, good young Lukasz. And his bowler haircut.

Right, enough of the nothing and on to the something that is the Arsecast. On this week's show Amy Lawrence talks sense around my preposterous waffle, the Man in the Bar is there and there's talk of Bourbon creams. Don't ask me.

To subscribe to the Arsecast in iTunes simply click here, the direct feed URL is here, to download this week's arsecast directly - click here (16mb MP3). You can find the arsecast archives here. And you can listen directly below without leaving this very page.

As well as that there's a dedicated Arsecast hotline available all season long should you desire to make a comment, get something off your chest, share a song a chant or hilarious anecdote. Feel free to call it any time during the week, it'll go to voicemail and you can leave your message. The number from inside the UK is 020 3286 6360 or from outside the UK it's +44 20 3286 6360.

Finally for today, and as I completely forgot to put it in the Arsecast coz I am Johnny Forgetful at the moment - congratulations to David "Cassmahass" Casson, occasional arsebloggerer and friend of Boghog (which is not unlike friend of Dorothy I'm told), on his nuptials which take place today. Wishing you many hours of happiness.

Ok then Arsebandits, have yourselves a good Friday and I'll talk to you tomorrow.

Morning all.  

Times are not good for William Gallas. By his own admission his recent form has been poor and I don't think there's an Arsenal fan in the world who would disagree with him. He says:

I would close my eyes if I would say I am strong. That would mean I don't recognise I did have a few bad performances - as recently with my club against Hull City. Maybe I feel a little tired.

Do I experience the most difficult period since I joined Arsenal? We could say yes. Above all I miss consistency. One match is good, the other one is not so good. However, I am doing everything to get to my best again.

To be honest, and being as fair as I can as I'm not much of a Gallas fan (I know, this is a shock to many of you), I don't think he's ever shown the kind of form people expected from him. Despite some important goals the defensive side of his game has been pretty underwhelming since he joined from Chelsea.

He's cost us goals and points this season and as captain he has to take responsibility for that. On the plus side it's good that he's aware of his lack of form and isn't trying to brush it under the carpet but as I've mentioned before I think there's an element of complacency in his game. He knows he's going to play every week no matter how badly he plays the week before.

However, you could also say that we're not set up to get the best out of Gallas, or Toure for that matter. Both of them prefer to play alongside a more traditional, physical centre-half and I don't think it's any coincidence that Gallas's best form at the club coincided with a run in the team beside Philippe Senderos. We've seen Kolo thrive beside both Senderos and Sol Campbell and Gallas at Chelsea was better at centre half because he had Terry as his partner.

To me that's the fundamental issue and until we do something about it we're always going to be vulnerable at the back.

To compound his woes this week PSG midfielder Jerome Rothen has written a book in which Gallas is called 'Mr Bean', accused of stealing from a teammate and being somewhat slow academically. Here's a sample:

At school he was a right wally – he would sit at the back of the class as far away from the blackboard as possible. One day the maths teacher gave us a test – she knew that William understood nothing about maths, so she allowed him to use the textbook. But even with the book under his nose he still only got four out of 20!

Rothen refers to Gallas a 'lovely guy' but as you might expect the Arsenal captain isn't too pleased about it and wants to go on TV to explain. It does seem a bit spiteful. I mean, he's hardly the first footballer to struggle academically and I think everyone of us would have stories we don't want aired in public about our school days. Like the bloke in my French class who begged to be allowed go to the doctor but the teacher wouldn't let him and when he stopped whimpering and passed out and was taken to hospital it was discovered he'd twisted his testicles and needed 26 stitches in his ballbag.

Anyway, there's an old French saying which seems to fit Gallas's situation. I just don't know what that saying is in French. In English we say C'est la vie.

Robin van Persie is out of the Dutch squad with a hamstring injury. Splendid, it was in this very international break last year that van Persie picked up an injury that would keep him out for most of the season. At least that happened in a game. This time it was in training. There's no news of how long he'll be out for but a hammy is usually 2-3 weeks for a regular strain. Of course Robin has probably Rosickyed his and will be out until infinity. 

Rio Ferdinand says Manuel Almunia shouldn't be picked for England. This is weird. That's twice inside 24 hours I've found myself agreeing with Ferdinand (first here) and it's making me feel all funny. Bleurgh. He should make like David Byrne and stop making sense. 

Right, not much else happening so I'll leave it there. More with an Arsecast, of sorts, tomorrow.

Till then.

Oh man, what a busy morning we have. Not that I'm trying to hype things up or anything but there's so much going on it will rock your socks, even if you happen to wearing open-toed sandals like some kind of priest.

Firstly, good news. It appears that Aaron Ramsey is going to be just as good as Cesc Fabregas. This is most timely indeed as it means we won't miss Cesc one bit when he goes back to Barcelona next Tuesday week for a world record fee of £13.99 and some Green Shield stamps. Welsh coach Brian Flynn says:

He can be whatever he wants. I see him as a top six Premier League and a top international player. He’s as good as Fabregas was as a 17-year-old. He’s moved to London and can establish himself in the Premier League.

We really haven't seen very much of him since his arrival but from what I have seen I can confidently predict that he is much, much better than either Denilson or Song and should be Cesc's partner from here on in. It's not that I'm setting the expectation level too high so much as desperately trying to build him up so it will inspire him to be completely awesome.

In all seriousness though I'd like to see him get a bit more playing time. The boss has spoken about what a great engine he has and maybe he's the one to provide that bit of high-tempo midfielding that we've been lacking in certain games this season. It's worth a try, isn't it? I mean, it's not like we have an abundance of riches for him to get past.

And even though it's only just October and the transfer window doesn't open until January The Sun is linking us with St Etienne midfielder Blaise Matuidi (OleOle link). If only Brian Moore were still alive.

"And here comes Matuidi ... blaising through the midfield..."

Mikael Sylvester made his debut for the club in the reserves game against Stoke the other night and he says he feels mighty real after getting some minutes under his belt. Reserve coach Neil Banfield said of his performance:

He has won so many trophies but he is still here flying out on the edge of the box and blocking shots. He is a credit to our profession and as a senior pro, it was first class, absolutely first class.

What a disgrace. Flying out on the edge of the box, blocking shots, winning tackles and no doubt he probably won some headers too. I hate the way these players come from other clubs bringing their scabby way of playing football with them. We'll soon knock those rough edges off him.

Banfield also talks about how the club will help young players who aren't going to make the grade at Arsenal find a new club. I suppose it has to be a big part of how the youth operation goes as so few actually make the grade.

Not much else happening as all our players are away preparing to get injured for their countries. The training ground is a quiet place. There's only Arsene, Almunia, Denilson and Rosicky who are passing the time by making Hallowe'en decorations. Rosicky's pumpkin Adebayor face is apparently quite terrifying and merely looking at it caused Tomas's good hamstring to snap right in two.

But don't worry, he's on course for a first team start in December.

2012.

Until tomorrow, Arsebandits.

Jesus Christ the rain here this morning is fierce.

Should I be worried that I saw an old man gathering two of each animal before heading for his self-built boat sitting atop a nearby mountain?

Is it a sign of the impending armageddon that Amaury Bischoff actually played a game of football? Something strange is going on in the cosmos, people. Torrents from on high and the Bisch is back. He played 56 minutes of the reserves 3-2 win over Stoke yesterday evening and did quite well by all accounts. The game also featured Mikael Silvestre for his first appearance in an Arsenal shirt and despite going behind we came back with goals from Francis Coq au vin, Jay Simpson and Rui Fonte. Report here.

With the players away the mischief starts a bit with quotes from Cesc appearing in the Spanish press. Speaking to Spanish radio he reportedly said:

I have decided to give my all to Arsenal and to give my maximum, I’d like to try and win more titles here, nevertheless we will see what happens next year.

Now, the other quotes about it being his dream to move back to Barcelona being a 'dream' are no surprise whatsoever. Home town club, one he supports, friends, family etc. We can all understand. The quotes about having a think about his future next year are mildly worrying though.

I have no doubt that Cesc wants to win things with Arsenal. No doubt at all. On the other hand though, if I was Cesc I might wonder how realistic that goal is with the current Arsenal squad. Anyway, there's one way of making sure that's not relevant and that's by winning something this year. And making him captain. And setting Gallas adrift on a tiny raft somewhere in the pacific attached to a boat in which lives a great big tiger. I honestly think that would make a big difference. And I'll even supply the tiger.

Manuel Almunia says that Theo Walcott adding an angry side to his game has added to his game. Apparently he exposed himself to gamma radiation and now, when he gets an angry, his clothes get too small and he turns all green. Almunia says:

Theo was too nice maybe in the last two years, but this season you can see that when he gets tackled he gets furious, and that shows you he has changed. I just spoke with him once, I told him he had to be a bit more aggressive and not so nice on the pitch because if people can kill you they will do so.

There's nothing like being in fear for your life to change your attitude. I used to be very nice but when I was told that people were trying to kill me I certainly became a different person altogether. Literally. I changed my name and everything.

There is nothing else to talk to you about this morning though. As far as the Arsenal goes that's it. So, if you'll excuse me I'll go get some breakfast, daydreaming of tigers and rafts and giant crashing waves and whales crossed with squids. I call them squales.

Till tomorrow. 

Once more into the Interlull we go, dear friends.

Our next game of football is on Saturday October 18th at 3pm. I ask you, in all seriousness, what the buggering fuck are we supposed to do until then? With only the late point against Sunderland to sustain us as well. That's like sending us on an expedition to the antarctic with just a half packet of Carr's water biscuits and a small piece of brie.

What are we going to talk about? Well, I've come up with some topics for discussion:

• Theo's sideburns, cool or hirsute extravagance?
• Who would win in a fight to the death between Eboue and a really cross Koala?
• How the birth of William Gallas brought about the latest global recession
• Guess how many beads are in Bacary Sagna's dreads
• Is thinking you're a much better player than you are a good thing or a bad thing? In footballing circles this is known as the Adebayor factor
• Denilson, is it really hair or does someone paint his head?
• Who will score a wonder goal against us next?
• Does Arsene need a new number 2? And should it be Macho Man Randy Savage?
• If Cesc Fabregas stuck his hand in the fire would you do it too?
• Carlos Vela, proof that refried beans are vital for a footballer's progression or simply a freak of nature?
• Who will play for Arsenal first? Diaby, Rosicky, a sickly baby currently in an incubator in Great Ormond Street hospital.
• Why the 'Wonder of you' anthem should be replaced by 'Smells like teen spirit'.
• Jack Wilshere has become the most pube free footballer to score for Arsenal. Is this good or bad?

So that should be plenty to get us through until about 11am this morning. After that I really don't know.

I suppose I could mention Sp*rs getting beaten by Hull yesterday but seeing as we got beaten by Hull last week it'd be a bit lame. Plus getting your kicks at the expense of others is all well and good when you're sitting pretty yourself but we're not really at the moment so I won't.

I see Adebayor has quit Togo so he can concentrate on Arsenal. I suppose that's a good thing although his complete lack of interest in celebrating our goal the other day was a bit weird. Check the pictures - what's up with him?

Anyway, that's about that for this morning. There's little or no news, as you might imagine, so buckle up and get ready for the ride of your life. Sorry, I mean settle down in your old armchair with only one TV channel to watch for the next 12 days or so. And that TV channel is showing repeats of Heartbeat over and over and over again.

Oh man, it's gonna be fun. Till tomorrow.